Another Look at India
You know that this whole experiment was a mistake. It's absolutley bewildering how he thought that you could make it in the real world. You didn't even have to volunteer to come home. He told you to. He commanded, and you return like the good little appliance you are. Shit, you don't even get dog rating, do you? You're like one of those little remote control cars, and now you're going back. You know he's going to shut you down.Why are you doing this? You do have a brain. You know you do...it's metallic. What's the use? You have to go home because you don't like it out here. You miss him. You miss the lab. You don't fit in here. Go home. At least you'll have some happiness before he shuts you down.
heidi
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
One Day On a Bus: Charlie, the Bus Driver
Charlie, The Bus Driver
Jesus! Did that bitch go over the freakin' deep end or what? No woman does that to Charlie Hicks and gets away with it! He'll teach her like he used to teach Em before she got in with those lesbo-libbers and ran off. Although Em didn't know how to sock ya' one like this broad. Charlie though that he could come to respect a woman like that India Bellegraves. She even had a strong sounding name. India. Yeah, he could get to like that. It all took him by surprise, though. He would always trip one every now and then. Maybe he had been tripping them a little more since Em had made like a tree. But still, that was no excuse to haul off and hit him like that. How did she even know that he'd done it? Probably because the little lady had a brain or two in her head. Maybe it was time for Charlie to expand his horizons. God knows that Em was always spoutin' off that kind of manure at him. Maybe he's just like this little librarian out. He would still have to punish her first, but maybe afterwards, they could go for a beer or something. Yeah, he'd do just that. Just as soon as he got out of the hospital.
heidi.
My most favorite of this series. I want to try to write him again. He's awful.
Jesus! Did that bitch go over the freakin' deep end or what? No woman does that to Charlie Hicks and gets away with it! He'll teach her like he used to teach Em before she got in with those lesbo-libbers and ran off. Although Em didn't know how to sock ya' one like this broad. Charlie though that he could come to respect a woman like that India Bellegraves. She even had a strong sounding name. India. Yeah, he could get to like that. It all took him by surprise, though. He would always trip one every now and then. Maybe he had been tripping them a little more since Em had made like a tree. But still, that was no excuse to haul off and hit him like that. How did she even know that he'd done it? Probably because the little lady had a brain or two in her head. Maybe it was time for Charlie to expand his horizons. God knows that Em was always spoutin' off that kind of manure at him. Maybe he's just like this little librarian out. He would still have to punish her first, but maybe afterwards, they could go for a beer or something. Yeah, he'd do just that. Just as soon as he got out of the hospital.
heidi.
My most favorite of this series. I want to try to write him again. He's awful.
Friday, November 4, 2011
One Day On a Bus:The "Star Trek" Effect
The Star Trek Effect
Dr. Edward Graves had always been an outcast, mostly because he was very, very shy. When he was forty, he saw an episode of Star Trek where this genus had built himself a female companion. Ignoring, the unhappy ending, he figured that that was probably a good idea, considering that, he too, was a genus, and that human females intimidated him. If he were to build one, he would know that there would be nothing to be afraid of. He was wrong. Obviously, there had been some problems in the small town where he had sent India to live (to see if she would fit in). She had been an outcast too. It also seemed as if she were in serious physical danger. Now, she was on the phone doing something she had never done before. She was crying. She was very confused; the plastic in her nose was broken; she missed him. He had told her that she would have to be shut down if she became violent. But that was before she left. Now she sounded so helpless. The bus driver had tripped her, and she had been humiliated. She was real, at least to him. Could he really kill her?
I apologize for the break. Here is the next installment of "One Day On a Bus". Please enjoy and feel free to share.
Thanks for reading!
heidi
Dr. Edward Graves had always been an outcast, mostly because he was very, very shy. When he was forty, he saw an episode of Star Trek where this genus had built himself a female companion. Ignoring, the unhappy ending, he figured that that was probably a good idea, considering that, he too, was a genus, and that human females intimidated him. If he were to build one, he would know that there would be nothing to be afraid of. He was wrong. Obviously, there had been some problems in the small town where he had sent India to live (to see if she would fit in). She had been an outcast too. It also seemed as if she were in serious physical danger. Now, she was on the phone doing something she had never done before. She was crying. She was very confused; the plastic in her nose was broken; she missed him. He had told her that she would have to be shut down if she became violent. But that was before she left. Now she sounded so helpless. The bus driver had tripped her, and she had been humiliated. She was real, at least to him. Could he really kill her?
I apologize for the break. Here is the next installment of "One Day On a Bus". Please enjoy and feel free to share.
Thanks for reading!
heidi
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Brkn Kybard
Brkn Kybard
iii cam iin t my dsk t writ and fnd that my swtiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipiiiiiiiiiiiis had bn in my ffic.
nw iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing lttrs and my iiiiiiiiiiiiii sticks.
is iiiiiiiit wtiiiiiting that's hard....r is it parnting?
Whr's my thr kybard???????
h.
9/17/11
iii cam iin t my dsk t writ and fnd that my swtiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipiiiiiiiiiiiis had bn in my ffic.
nw iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing lttrs and my iiiiiiiiiiiiii sticks.
is iiiiiiiit wtiiiiiting that's hard....r is it parnting?
Whr's my thr kybard???????
h.
9/17/11
Friday, September 16, 2011
One Day On A Bus: Midge
Midge
Answer the damn phone, Shirley. Come on. You thought that the shoot-out you saw at the Piggley-Wiggley was hot snot waittill you...Shirl? Girl, did I wake you up? God, I am so sorry. I just had something on my mind that was a buggin' me...do you want me to let you go? I could always call Belinda Jo. Are you sure? I didn't interrupt anything, did I? Woman! Don't you tell me that you have got Mary McFarber's husband Burt over there. I don't wanna hear it! I am a good woman. I only called you to tell you what happened to me today that was very peculiar, but if you would rather do other things, well, then that's fine with me. What? I'm not bothering you though, am I? Good. Well listen to this. You know that new librarian, India Bellegraves, right? Well we were on the same bus today...the one from midtown. I was at the Shoe Shanty, and I got Harv the most adorable pair of bunny slippers on sale there today. They are so funny! They're...what? Oh! Yeah! Well anyway, I was trying to be sociable, you know I always did feel so sorry for the poor girl with no friends and all, but she wouldn't even look at me, and when I practically forced her to talk to me, well! You would not believe how rude she was. I was so offended. We come to the stop and when she went to get out, you know Charlie Hicks, Em's ex? yeah, well he's drivin' the bus, and India and I go to get off...did I tell you that she lives in Bessie's boardin' house up the block from me? Me either! Anyway, so we're gettin' off, and you know what a.....a...well you know, unpleasant man Charlie is, well, he did something, and tripped her. I can't figure out how he did it, but she fell down the stairs into this puddle. You are not going to believe this next part...actual smoke comes up from where her face is in the puddle, and she stands up and brushes...I was on the stairs...Yes! This has a point. Patience is a virtue, Shirley, dear. Miss Bellegraves walks past me, and I smelled that smell that your cars get when something has broken in your engine on a rainy day, and she looks at him, and she SMILES, and then she punched him out. Then, like nothing happened at all, she just gets out and goes home, and I think, that she is plannin' on movin' out, because there's a van down at Bessie's and the only other boarder she has is Frank the deputy, and you now he's not goin' anywhere since the sheriff died in that hunting accident with him last year. Now, don't you think that's suspicious? What? What do you mean you don't care? I thought it was important, and interesting...I asked you if you'd rather not talk. What? Fine. I don't have to take this from you miss...hello? Bitch. Don't say goodbye. you know, I wonder what Mary McFarber's doin' right about now, and I wonder if she'd like to hear something interesting.
heidi
This is the second in the "One Day On A Bus Series". I have had trouble with Midge's voice. She sounds like a couple of different people to me. I tend to go back and forth on what she is like and it shows in here. Although, it was FUN to write. There are some people that I have introduced that I never wrote a piece for, that I think I want to write for now. I wonder how they would fit in? Maybe this will go on a little longer than I had planned. hhmmmm....
Anyway, we have reached another anniversary. This marks the beginning of the fourth week for the lasagna. Thanks for reading, and for the comments and reactions!
Answer the damn phone, Shirley. Come on. You thought that the shoot-out you saw at the Piggley-Wiggley was hot snot waittill you...Shirl? Girl, did I wake you up? God, I am so sorry. I just had something on my mind that was a buggin' me...do you want me to let you go? I could always call Belinda Jo. Are you sure? I didn't interrupt anything, did I? Woman! Don't you tell me that you have got Mary McFarber's husband Burt over there. I don't wanna hear it! I am a good woman. I only called you to tell you what happened to me today that was very peculiar, but if you would rather do other things, well, then that's fine with me. What? I'm not bothering you though, am I? Good. Well listen to this. You know that new librarian, India Bellegraves, right? Well we were on the same bus today...the one from midtown. I was at the Shoe Shanty, and I got Harv the most adorable pair of bunny slippers on sale there today. They are so funny! They're...what? Oh! Yeah! Well anyway, I was trying to be sociable, you know I always did feel so sorry for the poor girl with no friends and all, but she wouldn't even look at me, and when I practically forced her to talk to me, well! You would not believe how rude she was. I was so offended. We come to the stop and when she went to get out, you know Charlie Hicks, Em's ex? yeah, well he's drivin' the bus, and India and I go to get off...did I tell you that she lives in Bessie's boardin' house up the block from me? Me either! Anyway, so we're gettin' off, and you know what a.....a...well you know, unpleasant man Charlie is, well, he did something, and tripped her. I can't figure out how he did it, but she fell down the stairs into this puddle. You are not going to believe this next part...actual smoke comes up from where her face is in the puddle, and she stands up and brushes...I was on the stairs...Yes! This has a point. Patience is a virtue, Shirley, dear. Miss Bellegraves walks past me, and I smelled that smell that your cars get when something has broken in your engine on a rainy day, and she looks at him, and she SMILES, and then she punched him out. Then, like nothing happened at all, she just gets out and goes home, and I think, that she is plannin' on movin' out, because there's a van down at Bessie's and the only other boarder she has is Frank the deputy, and you now he's not goin' anywhere since the sheriff died in that hunting accident with him last year. Now, don't you think that's suspicious? What? What do you mean you don't care? I thought it was important, and interesting...I asked you if you'd rather not talk. What? Fine. I don't have to take this from you miss...hello? Bitch. Don't say goodbye. you know, I wonder what Mary McFarber's doin' right about now, and I wonder if she'd like to hear something interesting.
heidi
This is the second in the "One Day On A Bus Series". I have had trouble with Midge's voice. She sounds like a couple of different people to me. I tend to go back and forth on what she is like and it shows in here. Although, it was FUN to write. There are some people that I have introduced that I never wrote a piece for, that I think I want to write for now. I wonder how they would fit in? Maybe this will go on a little longer than I had planned. hhmmmm....
Anyway, we have reached another anniversary. This marks the beginning of the fourth week for the lasagna. Thanks for reading, and for the comments and reactions!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The River
The River
I stand in the river of
my actions and it drips,
drips, drips down and I
doubt if I was right, but
then I stop.
Because I know I was right,
right, right, and that I hav
e
don
e no w
ron
g
I
sit
and I
thi
n
k
and
I lis
ten
t
o
my t
hought
s as
t
h
ey d
rip, d
rip,
d
r
ip, drip, drip,
drip, drip, drip,
drip, drip,
drip.
heidi
originally written around 1990.
I really like this one. I liked (and I still do I guess) to play with the way the poem looks. I also was really into the sound of the words together, so sometimes I wasn't really after the meaning. This one does have a story, that was really in line with a lot of stuff that I was writing at the time. It makes me smile. I am working on a new immediate story that I will probably post as soon as it's finished. Look out tomorrow for the second part of "One Day On A Bus". Thanks for reading!
I stand in the river of
my actions and it drips,
drips, drips down and I
doubt if I was right, but
then I stop.
Because I know I was right,
right, right, and that I hav
e
don
e no w
ron
g
I
sit
and I
thi
n
k
and
I lis
ten
t
o
my t
hought
s as
t
h
ey d
rip, d
rip,
d
r
ip, drip, drip,
drip, drip, drip,
drip, drip,
drip.
heidi
originally written around 1990.
I really like this one. I liked (and I still do I guess) to play with the way the poem looks. I also was really into the sound of the words together, so sometimes I wasn't really after the meaning. This one does have a story, that was really in line with a lot of stuff that I was writing at the time. It makes me smile. I am working on a new immediate story that I will probably post as soon as it's finished. Look out tomorrow for the second part of "One Day On A Bus". Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
to Melissa: Here's Your Fucking Answer
to Melissa: Here's Your Fucking Answer
Okay, you wanna know?
You wanna know why I think I'm unlikable?
Why I'm afraid I don't like myself?
Why I am sure that people won't like me if they know me?
Fine.
But first, I think you're going to owe me a big plate with some bacon and mashed potatoes and probably a little something dark chocolate.
(Because really, who can't like themselves after bacon?)
I'm not perfect. I don't have whatever it is that makes people okay.
I don't even know what that is.
And since I don't know, I need to be perfect.
And I can't be perfect.
I've tried. I've tried very hard and failed.
So I keep working towards perfect.
I've tried to fake that whatever it is...
(shit! is that what the French mean by je ne sais quoi?)
And what I feel: is fake. I feel like I am performing.
And I'm tired of performing.
I'm so tired.
I feel like an empty, drained, dead vessel.
That's not interesting.
I wouldn't want to be around an empty, drained, dead vessel.
The most fun you could have would be to yell "echo" in the mouth.
I don't know why I'm unlikeable (aside from the fake stuff-that's not cool, and the dead vessel stuff-that's dull)
And I'm afraid to find out why I suck.
What if it's so big that it overwhelms me?
What if it's so bad that I like it?
What if it's nothing, and I've wasted all this time? And I have to go make friends?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING WORK THAT WOULD BE???????
There, happy, now?
I'm great.
And seriously, where's the bacon?
heidi
begun 9/8/11
completed 9/14/11
So this was not inspired by a direct writing challenge, but rather a couple of conversations, and an email asking me when I was going to write about bacon. I took it as a writing challenge, and here it is. I hope you like it.
Okay, you wanna know?
You wanna know why I think I'm unlikable?
Why I'm afraid I don't like myself?
Why I am sure that people won't like me if they know me?
Fine.
But first, I think you're going to owe me a big plate with some bacon and mashed potatoes and probably a little something dark chocolate.
(Because really, who can't like themselves after bacon?)
I'm not perfect. I don't have whatever it is that makes people okay.
I don't even know what that is.
And since I don't know, I need to be perfect.
And I can't be perfect.
I've tried. I've tried very hard and failed.
So I keep working towards perfect.
I've tried to fake that whatever it is...
(shit! is that what the French mean by je ne sais quoi?)
And what I feel: is fake. I feel like I am performing.
And I'm tired of performing.
I'm so tired.
I feel like an empty, drained, dead vessel.
That's not interesting.
I wouldn't want to be around an empty, drained, dead vessel.
The most fun you could have would be to yell "echo" in the mouth.
I don't know why I'm unlikeable (aside from the fake stuff-that's not cool, and the dead vessel stuff-that's dull)
And I'm afraid to find out why I suck.
What if it's so big that it overwhelms me?
What if it's so bad that I like it?
What if it's nothing, and I've wasted all this time? And I have to go make friends?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING WORK THAT WOULD BE???????
There, happy, now?
I'm great.
And seriously, where's the bacon?
heidi
begun 9/8/11
completed 9/14/11
So this was not inspired by a direct writing challenge, but rather a couple of conversations, and an email asking me when I was going to write about bacon. I took it as a writing challenge, and here it is. I hope you like it.
Reconnecting
Reconnecting
That is too funny! It's good to know that I am not the only one that has gone through this. Testicles are not fun! Although, your last email made me feel a little guilty, so now I have a confession to make. I so did not get my testicle through spin class. That was just something I told the gynecologist so I wouldn't look so dumb. (Although I think it's obvious that I haven't been going to spin class.) A while ago my friends Rick and Stacy and I decided at the last minute to drive to Georgia to get lottery tickets. The jackpot was huge! Anyway, I was on my period and I was wearing tampons, and I forgot to take any extra, and we really didn't stop a until the way back. Anyway, the gist is I wore that thing so much longer than I should have and I think it was in wrong (I don't really wear them that often) because it felt like it kept sliding down. So I kept having to get a wet nap and, as discretely as is possible in the back of a Honda, try to push it back up. Rick and Stacy were laughing at me the whole time. I kept getting more and more sore. How could I tell a doctor I just met that? It is too humiliating. Since I haven't had that gland removed, no more tampons for me! (or spin classes!) lol.
Hugs and Kisses!
R. <3
heidi
finished 9/14/2011 12:22 am
This needs expanding, but my son is having a hard time sleeping and I am finding it hard to type with a toddler in my lap.
My sister in the testicle! March 10, 2005 To: "Heather" hzr@djflsbndfjvlnsvnji****.com From: "Reilly" rlyboo@djflsbndfjvlnsvnji****.com H. <3 |
That is too funny! It's good to know that I am not the only one that has gone through this. Testicles are not fun! Although, your last email made me feel a little guilty, so now I have a confession to make. I so did not get my testicle through spin class. That was just something I told the gynecologist so I wouldn't look so dumb. (Although I think it's obvious that I haven't been going to spin class.) A while ago my friends Rick and Stacy and I decided at the last minute to drive to Georgia to get lottery tickets. The jackpot was huge! Anyway, I was on my period and I was wearing tampons, and I forgot to take any extra, and we really didn't stop a until the way back. Anyway, the gist is I wore that thing so much longer than I should have and I think it was in wrong (I don't really wear them that often) because it felt like it kept sliding down. So I kept having to get a wet nap and, as discretely as is possible in the back of a Honda, try to push it back up. Rick and Stacy were laughing at me the whole time. I kept getting more and more sore. How could I tell a doctor I just met that? It is too humiliating. Since I haven't had that gland removed, no more tampons for me! (or spin classes!) lol.
Hugs and Kisses!
R. <3
heidi
finished 9/14/2011 12:22 am
This needs expanding, but my son is having a hard time sleeping and I am finding it hard to type with a toddler in my lap.
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Beckoner's Song
The Beckoner's Song
Cain came to me
in dreams of loneliness.
Beckoning back yesterday
and her illicit easiness.
There is safety in old ways,
set, destructive creatures
that I know
want me. Desire me.
Rejection leaves my heart
bruised. An easy, ripe
fruit ready for the past.
For Cain.
And his sweet songs of security
that disguise my destruction
as I turn
and flee
towards
what
was.
heidi
08/26/92
Another one from years ago. I like this one too. It makes me sad though, so I think I need to work on something funny. I am looking forward to writing the next installment of "Reconnecting", and being the only person who seems to like it! Thanks for reading!
Cain came to me
in dreams of loneliness.
Beckoning back yesterday
and her illicit easiness.
There is safety in old ways,
set, destructive creatures
that I know
want me. Desire me.
Rejection leaves my heart
bruised. An easy, ripe
fruit ready for the past.
For Cain.
And his sweet songs of security
that disguise my destruction
as I turn
and flee
towards
what
was.
heidi
08/26/92
Another one from years ago. I like this one too. It makes me sad though, so I think I need to work on something funny. I am looking forward to writing the next installment of "Reconnecting", and being the only person who seems to like it! Thanks for reading!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Goodbye
Goodbye
I never said goodbye
I didn't see the necessity
I long for just one more hug
One more smile
one more chance to be your sweet girl
I miss you more than I knew
I could miss anybody
and I wish you could have been here to meet my babies
Goodbye Grandma, I love you.
-heidi
i think this was originally written 8/2000
This one is for my Grandma. Sending out warm thoughts to everyone at the end of this sad anniversary. Thank you for reading.
This one is for my Grandma. Sending out warm thoughts to everyone at the end of this sad anniversary. Thank you for reading.
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