Saturday, January 4, 2020

The Dead Hear Our Thoughts

     There are many different thoughts about communicating with the dead. Some say that it is impossible. Others say that the dead can hear you when you talk to them or can even hear your thoughts. Current scientific advances have determined that the dead can in fact hear your thoughts. This can be a great comfort to those who have lost a loved one. Now the living can be assured that the loving thoughts that they have of their loved ones go straight to them.

            However, there is a downside. The dead receive all thoughts of the living. The newly dead find this overwhelming at first. They often find themselves inundated with thoughts their loved ones have while on the toilet, especially. With time, the newly dead can learn to edit out thoughts, much like with hearing. This ability does not apply to thoughts that are about, or somehow invoke the dead.

            Medium, Sylvia Tanner, says that unwanted thoughts are a problem of the afterlife.

            “Often, in sessions, the beloved deceased will send a message to their living loved ones to please not think of them so much. I usually don’t pass those messages on to my clients, it affects how much I get tipped after the session. The most common request I receive is from grandmothers of young adult males. Apparently, thoughts of Grandma have a certain cooling effect for young men during intense moments of intimacy. Grandmothers hate that. Stopping orgasms makes it difficult to enjoy the afterlife.”

            The takeaway here is to think responsibly. Keep your loved ones in your heart and minds, but not when you are doing something you wouldn’t want them to know about when they were alive. The dead will thank you for it. 

written: 1/4/20

This is a rough draft. The idea I had was funnier than the execution, I think.