Saturday, June 11, 2016

Found Diary





So I found this diary recently. I thought it was pretty interesting. Maybe this person should take a nap.  The text is transcribed below without edits.

                                                                                                         3/29/16 [cut off in photo]

Dear Fucking Diary,

    The world is so mean. Here I am, trying to do everyone a favor, and they dump on me. And I don't know why? I mean, I know all the greatest words, right? The best words. The best fucking words EVER and all they do is mock me. And it shouldn't matter, it really shouldn't matter what mean people or the liberal-biased media says, after all, I have a young and beautiful piece of ass, but still. It hurts. It hurts way bad. I promise to build a great wall- because nobody builds walls better than me, believe me- that is inexpensive AND paid for by Mexico- and do they appreciate it? NOOOOOOOO! I try to tell them about my "extremely credible source that can prove that birth certificate is fake-and they ignore me. This is why politics is such a disgrace- why good people don't go into government. Because of the bullies and meanyfaces who don't recognize my awesomamilitude!
     You think they never watched TV before. Like they don't know who I AM. And you know all of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me-consciously or unconsciously (so expected) and still all people want to do is drag me down.
     Pigs.
     Filthy pigs.
     And it is sooooo not TRUE.
     LOOK HERE
     [see picture above of drawing of hand]

     My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.

     Just watch. They'll beg me. Please be our boss. We neeed you so much to make America unsuck. And I'll just be like NOPE!!! 


     Sorry America. Sorry uneducated people. It's okay. My IQ is one of the highest-and you all know it! Please don't feel stupid or insecure; it's not your fault.
     But you won't let me be president. So I'm not gonna play with you ANYMORE AMERICA!

     Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight.



heidi
transcribed 6/11/16

I wonder what else I can find laying around Alabama? 

5 comments:

  1. I wonder whose diary that might be.. :o]
    Loadsa love
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmm? I wonder ... ;) Loadsa love back at ya, Anna :o]!

      Delete
  2. I loved this - it's voice is perfect. Unless, of course, it's real. Then The Donald can take his perfectly formed fingers and fuck himself in the ass. Much love, Mosk

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    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, the "found" label wasn't just a conceit. I got my quotes from an earlier list than this one, but it has them all on it, and then some. (Maybe have an antiemetic handy.) http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/550112/donald-trump-quotes.html

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  3. haha! I had a good laugh reading this. Just found your blog and will check out your older posts. Following you for more. :)

    ReplyDelete

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