Nothing To Watch

When I was a little girl
I would lie awake alone
at night
afraid and lonely
battling with all of the thoughts
that said I was never good enough.
And I would wish for the time
when I would be grown up
and not have to think those thoughts
or at least have someone I chose there with me
to tell me it was okay.
Someone to be with.
If not that, then at least I could get up and watch TV.
But here I am.
All grown up.
With a house full of people I love,
but they are all asleep.
Even the puppy resting on my feet.
And I still feel so alone and lonely.
With nothing I want to watch on the
TV.

heidi
written: 3/11/17


Depression and Anxiety are really getting on my fucking nerves, y'all.

#GAF Days 7 Through 19.

Y'all may have to turn up the volume a little. I was outside for catch up day.

heidi

#GAF Day 5 and Day 6

Let's combine these together. I may, after this week, just post a week of videos in one post.  But, since this isn't the end of the week yet ...

Day 5

Day 6

heidi

#GAF Day 4

Hot and fresh on-time fucks.

heidi

#GAF Day 3

A few out of focus fucks.

heidi

#GAF Day 2

Day 2

Where We Grow

     The smell in the air when she woke let her know it was time to plant. It was a big responsibility being the grower of fucks. And it was one that she loved. After her breakfast, she took the old wooden box that held the precious fuck seeds and opened it. From these tiny, blue seeds, so many fuck plants would grow and bloom and spread their fuck bounty over the world. The little fuck flowers were periwinkle, her favorite color. Once planted, they spread across the globe refilling the world with fuck. After the flowers faded, she walked the Earth gathering the little, blue fuck seeds and waited for the air to notify her of the next planting season. It was her who ensured there were always fucks to give when needed. It was how she helped people retain her humanity, with these little fuck flowers. Now it was time to get to work. It was time to sow the fucks. 

heidi

written: 1/3/17

I had a request to put my fucks in story form, so here's a try.

My Goal For 2017

I want to give all the fucks.

The video quality sucks big time because I ended up on my kindle because my desktop is frustrating, my laptop screen was eaten by my puppies and I forgot to charge the batteries to my camera. :( But that's okay. I don't have to give a fuck about that today because I already gave all the fucks!


Man, I look scary there. Let's see if my vanity will let me post this.

Happy New Year y'all!

heidi