Wednesday, April 11, 2018

#NaPoWriMo Day Ten: Behind

I completed
ONE
job application
for
Joann Fabric and Craft
and it took me three hours.

I hate to
FILL OUT
job applications
because
I can never remember the dates correctly
and all I see
are
lost
opportunities.

I went to my daughter's IEP
and cried.
I have poeming and blogging it dutifully
I applied for the damn job
I have been cooking every damn day
and clearing up after
I rigged a bucket/bin/plunger/clothesline situation
so I could spend three hours
washing maybe 20 articles of clothes.

And I just want a break. Silence. I want no expectations of me for just
ONE
day.

Because all of that up there are things I got done, that I couldn't have a short while ago
and I really want someone to say "good job, Heidi"
but I'm not getting that because it seems like it isn't enough.
and that I am even now
FAILING
at being depressed?

Why am I never good enough?

h.
written: 4/11/18 for NaPoWriMo/GloPoWriMo

**shudders** Damn. That wasn't fun to write!

2 comments:

  1. Probably wasn't fun to feel, either. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job, Heidi. I'm sorry I missed this, love and hugs

    ReplyDelete

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