My First Novel

the writing is slow
my morale, an all time low
I think my book idea may blow
fuck you NaNoWriMo.

heidi
11/17/14

I think we know what I've been doing lately.

Eligibility

the results
and with a handful of numbers
the hope I didn't know I still had
implodes.

hope
the eternal motherfucker
that makes it easy for me
to reject her reality

"don't focus too much on the numbers"
so she can still catch up?
"well, you really don't see huge leaps, but she can make some gains"
all hope hears is: sure she can catch up

we talk about how constant seizures
can cause brain damage
and we need to work on building
new pathways

I never let myself consider that the seizures were causing damage.

her teacher emphasizes how wonderful she is
just as she is
and she is
wonderful.

And I don't give one flying fuck
I want her where she should have been
if only
I had been better and took her to the neurologist sooner.

at the eligibility meeting today
I learned that my daughter is average
when it comes to reading comprehension
and below average on everything else

except being a wonderful person-there she is above average


heidi
written 11/12/14

no comment tonight

The Evils of Halloween

when i was a kid
i thought that Charlie Brown
should teach those mean rock givers
the true meaning of
trick-or-treat

visiting later to return the rocks
through car or house
windows.

what kind of evil adult would give one kid out of a group rocks for halloween?

much less a whole neighborhood.

now that I am an adult
and a mom

I agree with my kid self.

What a bunch of evil motherfuckers.

heidi
11/11/14

okay so it's a little late. my sweetie-pies have just discovered charlie brown and the grinch and i keep hearing this stuff.

In The Darkness

movement
at the corner
of my eye triggering
fear, they are out and they want to
eat me

heidi
written 10/08/14

Also inspired by Marina's dVerse prompt, but probably not what she meant.(not linked)

Shredded

Don't be angry.
Life is too short to be angry

What? Speak up! I can't hear you!
WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD?

Yes, I agree, you are sorry.

If you don't know, then just ask.
Uh! How do you not know this already?


I don't know why you have to be such a bitch.

Oh no! What happened? These pictures are horrible!
You're not going to cry, are you?

Don't be angry.
Life is too short to be angry. 


heidi
written 10/08/14 for dVerse Poetics

Marina Sofia is tending bar for Poetics this week and challenges us to write of a minor incident that you may have missed while living your everyday life.  Maybe the minor thing in this poem isn't exactly minor, but I like where the prompt lead me.

Winners Picked!

The No Sleep Podcast contest has ended and we have two winners! Congratulations Bijan and Adrian! And a big Thank You to everyone who participated!

Heidi

Welcome Weather

the chill
that quickly makes
the blankets now needed
and encourages cuddling
Hi Fall!

heidi
written 10/05/14

Are You Going to Eat That?

the ice
tingles as it
slowly freezes and melts
teeth grind cold cubes compulsively
pica

heidi
written 10/04/14

Very Good Girls

Photo from @HorrorMyths on Twitter

Waiting...

these are patient girls
these are quiet girls
these are good girls

they know their duty

observe the rituals
mind the prayers
devour the souls

and receive their pennies.

They really are very good little girls.

heidi
written 10/01/14

My friend, Bone, included me on this conversation on Twitter, thinking it might inspire me. I think he was right.

Make sure you've entered the contest to win a Season Four Pass of the No Sleep Podcast!

How did I forget? Happy National Poetry Day! Go write a poem!

10/05/14 Posted to Reddit forum Dark Tales

Aren't They Though?

from the midst of despair
the knife calls from the kitchen

draw my cool sharp steel
down the warm inside of your arm
let loose the misery
that plagues you

let me help you sleep

 the temporary prick from my blade
will end the continuing pain
that is your failure


the knife is a real dick.

heidi
written 10/01/14

Have you entered the contest yet? There's just a few days left!