Sunday, August 28, 2011


  (the ride home)

Alright sweet boy,
let's get you in your seat.
No, in your seat.
Sit down,
Sit down,
Sit down.
There's a good boy.
I know, I know, Mommy's being mean.
Okay sweetie, your brother's in.
Let's get you in the truck.
Here, help me lift you out of the cart.
Now stand, okay, put your foot there-
no there, there! sweetie.
Now whose heinie is this in my face?
Let's get you in the truck. Watch your head!
Oh! I'm sorry sweetheart, are you okay? I'll kiss it.
There's a girl.
Okay , who wants juice boxes? Yay juice boxes!
Here you go sweetie. Here you go sweetheart.
Okay- the buggy is corralled.
Damn it's hot.
Let's start this up and turn on the AC.
Phew! That's better.
Y'all ready to go home and eat some lunch?
Oh Shit!
Did I turn off the tea?
Is the stove on?
Oh shit the stove's on!
Damn red light.
What if it's boiled down?
How long were we in the store?
What if the house caught fire?
What if I have burned down the neighborhood?
I just bought all those Courage cartoons on iTunes!
Shit! the computer! Shit! The Dog!
Please dont' be on fire.
Aw come on! Another light?!
Please don't be on fire.
Sweetie, who taught you the diarrhea song?
My house is on fire and my little girl is singing about runny bowels.
When you're sliding into first and you feel a juicy burst...
Okay-good-i don't see any smoke.
Here's the neighborhood...still standing.
Here's our house.
No fire in sight.
Stay here kids, Mommy will be right back.
No smoke in the house, but the stove is on.
Now it's off, (big sigh).
Oh damn, I bet that tea is ruined.



Okay so the discipline got off to a weak start. But I am going to leave two posts this afternoon. Now if I could only find an exercise that comes with childcare....


  1. Hey Jess! I saw you were my first follower! Thanks!

  2. Oh my goodness, this made me laugh! Thank you.

  3. Keep on writing. I want more. kris

  4. Thanks Kris! I plan on one post a day. There is a part two of this poem that I will post soon, and a part three that I am still thinking about.


Hi! Thank you for the visit! Grab a plate and a sweet tea and let's dig in. It may take a while, but I always try to reply and return visits.