Thursday, October 31, 2013

I Hope the World Will Be Kind.

I read an article in "The Davis Enterprise" today
     about teenagers trick-or-treating.

And I have to admit, I started thinking
     "this is another cut-the-special-needs-kids-some-slack-and-let-them-trick-or-treat" thing.
     and my heart got a little weary.

And the woman wrote about how she was uncomfortable with teenage trick-or-treaters
     until her son was fifteen
     and went trick-or-treating with his  friends
     and how she hoped people would be kind to them.

And it made me cry a little...
     because I like the way she wrote it
     and because I wanted people to be kind too
     and because I want people to be that way with my kids, too.

It also made me cry a little
     because sometimes all people see about my girl are her special needs
     and because sometimes they don't see it and she is penalized for what she can't help
     and because, like the tiny spark of hope that I can't shake,
            (and that I have grown to hate
                  that one day she'll wake up and be vanilla rather than special...)
     I think that I may always think that thought
          or something similar
     and I will always be torn between my desire for her to be treated like
            any other little girl
            and the little girl who will always have the extra challenge.

Maybe the mom of the teenage boy and I have the same hope
     that the world will be kind.

       

heidi
written: 10/31/13 in response to Marion Franck's article "What You Need to Know About 6 Foot Trick-or-Treaters" in "The Davis Enterprise." You can click on the title of the article for the link.


Happy Halloween! I wasn't going to post today, but my friend, Crystal, posted this article on Facebook and, well, this happened. Have a good night, y'all.

20 comments:

  1. Boy, this struck at my heart. If I wasn't such a big girl, I'd cry.

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    1. Thanks, Ally! I think sometimes you need a shared cry with girlfriends :).

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  2. Oh if only the world could be kind Heidi - maybe one day, maybe...
    (Loadsa) hugs'n'everthing.
    Anna :o]

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    1. Look for the kindness...it is out there! I believe it still outweighs the meaness - it's a belief that is easier to maintain if I don't watch the news :)

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    3. Sorry for the deleted post. It was a duplicate of the first post - don't know how I did that...I'm a blogging illiterate.

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    4. Melissa- boo news! I prefer to read it rather than watch it...It's okay for the deleted post, it happens.

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  3. Hey! I saw your comment on my Ezra Pound post, and it reminded me that I haven't seen you around in a good while. Forgive me--things have evidently been a little tough over here in lasagna world, and I'm sorry I haven't been by to check up on the happenings. Anyway, Jesus! this is such a powerful poem, hit me right in the gut. I'm not ashamed to admit--I also cried a little bit. Stay strong, and keep writing!

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    1. Hey Nico! Nice to see you here. I seem to wax and wane with my blogging. (During the down-times, I seem to post more micro-poetry on Twitter, that I hope to one day get posted on its page here.) I love dropping by your blog and reading what you've posted. I am glad that you liked this poem. It seemed to write itself, and also made me cry some more in the process. Thanks for the visit, you're always welcome!

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  4. Heidi this is so beautiful and touching. I teared up. When people learn that I have Epilepsy and learning challenges their behavior does change. Either they can't get away fast enough, they become condescending and outright rude or they get very uncomfortable and act especially nice inadvertently treating me as if I were incompetent. Respect I think is the main thing I hope for that people will treat each other with respect. Beautifully done

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    1. Thank you Yves! Aoife also has Epilepsy and she has Developmental Disorders. I think it is the overly kind response that I have the hardest time coping with, and it is the response that generates poetry. I have a hard time telling people "your attempt to be kind, really isn't kind." Right now, Aoife doesn't notice, she loves people and is almost always happy. I hope that I can get a better handle on things before she begins to notice. I think you are right about respect, and it is something that I need to work on as well. I am glad that you liked it.

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  5. oh this really moved me... thanks for sharing your heart with us... and i think we all want people to see our kids as a person - not their special needs or looks or maybe bad behavior as teens but the person who is behind all that..

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    1. Thank you Claudia! It was a really good article.

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  6. This brought tears...I too wish the world could be kind. So many precious children have/are suffering from its unkindness.

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  7. Hi Heidi, I'm trying again with a comment: I think there are plenty of people wanting to show kindness, but sometimes they are confused in how to show it. They might see the disability rather than the person, or see the person and forget to allow for the disability. I'm sure as a loving mother that you have learnt/are learning that balance of seeing her as the person she is, while accommodating her needs....and others will find that balance too. I'm optimistic that there is plenty of kindness to be found!

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    1. Hi Rowan! I think you are right, that most people do want to be kind. I think that I need to work a little on my ability to be more patient and kind as well. :)

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  8. This is beautiful. Just tremendous. Made me think about my nephew.

    I've always said the good in the world outweighs the bad. I still say it, but it gets a little harder to believe some days.

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    1. I'm glad that you liked it. I think you're right. Like I replied to Rowan, I think sometimes that maybe it's me that I worry about not being kind.

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