Tuesday, December 10, 2013

fear

I hate
living in fear of my own brain
in fear of the truth of who I am
or who I may be.

I hate the worry
that I may be the worst thing
that ever happened to my
children.

I hate the
uncertainty.

I hate
the fear.

I am scared that I may be nothing more than
a stereotype...

     and I hate it.

heidi
written: 11/2/13

Sometimes I think the poetry is scarier than the short stories.
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14 comments:

  1. Brian MillerDecember 10, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    you know, you dont have to be...

    who you are...i dont know if i would be taking that from my brain...our thoughts can get pretty twisted at times in terms of identifying who we are...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HeidiDecember 14, 2013 at 4:10 AM

      Thanks, Brian.

      Brains...sometimes they think too much.

      Delete
  2. Buddah MoskowitzDecember 10, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    The protagonist needs to make peace with the uncertainty, because it's at the root of the problem. Great poem, hope it's not autobiographical.

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    Replies
    1. HeidiDecember 14, 2013 at 4:11 AM

      Thanks Mosk. Maybe sometimes autobiographical.

      Delete
  3. hyperCRYPTICalDecember 11, 2013 at 4:58 PM

    If this is about you Heidi - girl you certainly ain't no stereotype. I hate the fact you (might) think you are!
    And if this really is about you Heidi - for you to worry that you might be the worst thing for your children - well (to me) this worry is almost certain proof you're not for tis only a good mother who would consider this.
    So if it is about you Heidi - hugs'n'hugs'n'hugs you old worrypot!
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HeidiDecember 14, 2013 at 4:12 AM

      Thank you sweet Anna. I needed those hugs...I am a worrypot.

      Delete
  4. UnknownDecember 11, 2013 at 5:24 PM

    Random thoughts fly through our minds at times, don't they? Probably all the evidence in your life is to the contrary of these flashes of negativity. In the end, you decide who you are and where you're going. None of us can entertain these unwanted guests for very long. Good write, Heidi.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Susie ClevengerDecember 14, 2013 at 10:52 PM

    Fear often makes no sense...We have a tendency to think we are not enough, but I am sure you are more than enough. Evict those unwanted thought guests. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HeidiDecember 19, 2013 at 4:19 PM

      Thanks Susie! I like the phrase "unwanted thought guests."

      Delete
  6. UnknownDecember 15, 2013 at 1:54 PM

    If only we were as nice and sweet to ourselves as we are to other people. Then we could put those negative voices to sleep! If this is about you, just the fact that you are thinking about it and concerned enough to worry if you are good enough, makes believe that you are that and more!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownFebruary 11, 2014 at 8:03 PM

    We are made up of some of the same fear. There is so much good in you your children will inherit that. . I believe they will always love and honor you.

    ReplyDelete

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