Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A Heavy Weight

poem and photo by heidi helmer


 
heidi
written 5/13/14 for dVerse Poetics

Marina Sofia has us exploring identity today. I have another response to the prompt floating around in my head, but I went with this one to link because it's more serious. (translation: sad) I'll write the other one and try to post it as well. I already like it better.


 

23 comments:

  1. i think our kids are often like mirrors and we see and sometimes for the first time understand ourselves in new ways

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  2. ha. there is responsibility in all things..i think it is easy to see ourselves in them as well...as they will mimic us...and sometimes that can become very scary....smiles.

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  3. So true...children are a responsibility as well as a joy!

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  4. Oh.. I read this as a big responsibility for such small hands.. But yes being a mother is like this.

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    1. Hi Bjorn. That's what I was thinking when I wrote this. That making your children your whole world and the sum of who you are is way too big and heavy a burden for babies. As parents we need to be more, so that we can appreciate our children for who they are and not how they meet our needs. It's really fascinating me that it is getting read differently. One of the things that is so very cool about poetry. :)

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  5. I think making someone else your entire world (children, partner, parent) is a dangerous mistake, too easily made. I enjoyed this multi-faceted piece.

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    1. Agreed. Children are separate identities not extensions of their parents.

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  6. They are your world and you are theirs :)

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  7. Yes. And yet, they and the "I" are better for the responsibility ... fair and necessary.

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  8. I know the responsibility of raising these small hands ~ But once you passed this stage, and you see them affirming your choices and values, you will feel very proud of yourself ~

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  9. Oh Heidi - loved this - children do hold our hearts in their hands - K

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  10. This is the second poem I've read in just a few minutes that speaks to the powerful identity forged by parenting. May they always be a tribute to you!

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  11. So sweet. and yes, they will hold us long after we're gone.

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  12. being a parent teaches us how to love more deeply

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  13. ... and a good mother you are!

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  14. One thing i love most about my mother..is while she gave her all to us..she never made the expectation or limitation for us of what we could be..

    What i see more often..is that when people do this..those expectations and limitations..can often stifle the emotional and fulfilling growth..

    of what a child can be...

    so i do agree with what you clarify is your intent above..in the comment there....:)

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  15. ah...those tiny hands will become stronger for this responsibility.....lovely lines

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  16. I never felt that but then I worked part-time when I had children. But still, I always told them that their father came first and beyond the physical demands, and he was very hands-on parenting as well, he did and does come first. I said they would grow up and leave and make their own lives but, if I was lucky, he would stay and so what I did had to be right for us first and then for them. It worked and 44 years on they have grown up and left and we are still together.

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  17. Your identity is alive and well in them.

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  18. The 'huge responsibility' certainly works both ways, and I love the fact that we can debate about it from just a few, very succinct lines. Darling children, too, by the way!

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  19. What an interesting perspective. I always think of responsibility from the parent's point of view. But it does go both ways. I still feel a huge responsibility not to let my mom and dad down. (I first typed "mum" there as I apparently fancied being British for a sec.)

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