(the ride home)
Alright sweet boy,
let's get you in your seat.
No, in your seat.
There's a good boy.
I know, I know, Mommy's being mean.
Okay sweetie, your brother's in.
Let's get you in the truck.
Here, help me lift you out of the cart.
Now stand, okay, put your foot there-
no there, there! sweetie.
Now whose heinie is this in my face?
Let's get you in the truck. Watch your head!
Oh! I'm sorry sweetheart, are you okay? I'll kiss it.
There's a girl.
Okay , who wants juice boxes? Yay juice boxes!
Here you go sweetie. Here you go sweetheart.
Okay- the buggy is corralled.
Damn it's hot.
Let's start this up and turn on the AC.
Phew! That's better.
Y'all ready to go home and eat some lunch?
Did I turn off the tea?
Is the stove on?
Oh shit the stove's on!
Damn red light.
What if it's boiled down?
How long were we in the store?
Crap! TWO HOURS!
What if the house caught fire?
What if I have burned down the neighborhood?
I just bought all those Courage cartoons on iTunes!
Shit! the computer! Shit! The Dog!
Please dont' be on fire.
Aw come on! Another light?!
Please don't be on fire.
Sweetie, who taught you the diarrhea song?
My house is on fire and my little girl is singing about runny bowels.
When you're sliding into first and you feel a juicy burst...
Okay-good-i don't see any smoke.
Here's the neighborhood...still standing.
Here's our house.
No fire in sight.
Stay here kids, Mommy will be right back.
No smoke in the house, but the stove is on.
Now it's off, (big sigh).
Oh damn, I bet that tea is ruined.
submitted dVerse OLN 3/13/13
I was really excited about Claudia's post introducing the OLN, and I was just going to read and comment and not post. The pieces I have written lately have been in response to specific prompts and I didn't have any ideas for something to write for it. Then I started looking at older posts here and decided to repost this piece. It was one of the first pieces written for this blog, and I think it's funny. It hasn't really been read, though, and I thought I would use this opportunity to reintroduce it. (I was actually torn between this and Thank You.) It also has a second part, Groceries II. I think that this is pretty representational of my poetry, especially the more comedic things.