Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Free Write Friday Submission: Fly Away

Credit: Richard Baxter
Free Write Friday 2/15/13

Fly Away

She has hidden in the old house
clutching her dolly
praying for a magic that will save her.

Outside, he looks for her.
He didn't see her run into the house.
He reeks of the beer he used to try to forget his troubles.

She is little for her age and underfed.
She has been her own caregiver
and she is too young to raise a child.

He didn't start out a bad man,
or a drunk man
and he does not know what he is supposed to do with her.

She is praying for escape
squeezing her tiny eyes shut
wishing she could fly away.

He hears the sounds of birds
and looks up.
They form a dark cloud and are flying towards the old house.

She is exerting all of her strength, hoping.
She does not notice the sounds or the dark, or the motion
as the birds circle, and then lift, the house.

He watches the house fly away and
crushes his beer can with the hand holding it
and never notices.

She feels a breeze and opens her eyes.
She sees the birds.
They have saved her.

He vomits on the street.
He calls the cops, and becomes a
suspect in her missing person case.

A far way away, the birds unceremoniously
drop the house onto the grey ground.
They fly away.

He is interrogated, suspected and
she is gone. Eventually, he is released.
Her case goes cold.

She is not in Munchkinland, or Oz, or even
Kansas. But she feels free, and as she looks at the
dark skies around her, she feels safe.

written 2/25/13 for Kellie Elmore's Free Write Friday prompt for 2/15/13

Click here to listen on Chirbit

This is a late submission. I discovered some cool prompts and decided I want to do them all, so it has taken me this long to get to this one. Check out Kellie's site  by clicking on the link about to find out about her Free Write Friday and to read some cool submissions. I have to admit that with this prompt (write a response to the picture about) I kept thinking about The Wizard of Oz, but I couldn't come up with anything. Last night, I was looking at this picture again and focused on the birds rather than the house, and that's when the idea hit me.  I hope you like it!

There was also an interesting discussion on the dVerse blog Pretzels and Bullfights post about commenting. I am happy to get comments (not spam) and critiques. If the critique is long or complicated, or you're too shy to post it publicly, please feel free to email me . I would love to hear from you.


  1. Hi Heidi, Fine course you took with your mind here.It's interesting that you zeroed in on the birds as they generally represent 'victory'. I found you following your comment on my post at wordpress.... (Inspiration Import) - Nice to meet you!

    1. Hi Lesley! Welcome to the lasagna; it's nice to meet you too. I enjoyed visiting your blog. I didn't know that about birds, how cool. Thank you for visiting and for the kind comment.

  2. oh i love that the birds helped her to escape...what a magical story..

    1. Thank you Claudia!I was hoping for magic. I like the birds in the picture, and wanted them to be a focus.

  3. I see how a shift in focus (with ekphrastics) can help create a new story. I was so scared for this little girl, sure she was going to be abused. So glad the birds saved her so she could create the life she wanted. This works on so many levels! Thanks again for stopping by my blog. Peace, Amy

    1. Hi Amy! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I was a little worried that I should put a trigger alert on this one. I don't mind (and sometimes intend) scaing people, but I don't want to provoke a PTSD episode. Thanks for coming by and commenting. I enjoy reading your work.

  4. Hello, Heidi. Cool story. I want to believe she's safe. Really. But does "safe" mean the same as "alive?" Or is she safe in a different way? "Gray ground...dark skies...missing person case..." There's enough there that makes me wonder about where exactly she is and how long she's been away. I feel like there's more going on here. Could just be me, though. I like it. Makes me think.

    1. Welcome to the lasagna! You've asked me something that I can't answer. After I wrote this, I did wonder what would happen to her and would she be okay. I hadn't seen her as dead, but that doesn't mean that she's not. The birds in the story weren't gentle. I did feel uneasy for her. It's cool that you had a similar reaction. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for visiting and reading.

    2. You caught me thinking out loud, wondering about her as I read through several times. No, you must not answer. We need the gray. Everyone must choose. *grin*


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