NaPoWriMo Day Thirty: Grateful Goodbye

forever there are
two people alive today because
of your love

heidi
written 4/30/14 for


and in memory of Ruth Bennett and John Servati



 

Cut and Paste: An Experiment in Gender-Flipping.

We break away from Poetry Month for this little essay (well, non-fiction, prose blog post?)

Last night, while waiting out the tornados, I was browsing Twitter I read these posts by Marni Bates (@MarniBates).



I Instagrammed it. My screenshot's not working.

And it got me thinking about gender-flipping, and Caitlin Walsh's article. I thought it might be kind of funny and thought-provoking to take an article about Keira Knightley and another one about George Clooney and swap their names and pronouns.  And I have spent a long, frustrating, and humor-killing day and have decided to just go with a googling of headlines and google auto-fills.

So, if George Clooney's Google page looked like Keira Knightley's, the first link would be

News/ George Clooney Shows Off That Tiny Waist, Sums Up His First Year of Marriage to James Righton

 

I wonder if he does pilates?

That news headline is followed by

 

Adam Levine makes movie acting debut, George Clooney sings in ‘Begin Again’

Wait, am I looking up Adam Levine or George Clooney?

And the third link

 

George Clooney's New Signature Style Is Kind Of Odd

 

Free dresses from Chanel, George? You're so quirky!

and as for searches?

 

Searches related to george clooney

george clooney plastic surgery

george clooney weight

george clooney pictures

george clooney tumblr

george clooney cartoon

george clooney wedding dress

george clooney widgets

george clooney lens


What does he do for a living now?

So what would happen if Keira Knightley had George Clooney's page?

Keira Knightley finally meets her match with human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin

 

Oh. My God!  I was sure Keira was a confirmed old maid! What made her change her mind?

The second news headline is

5 Things to Know About Keira Knightley's Fiancee Amal Alamuddin

What does she have that I don't have?

I wonder what the third news headline could be about?

Keira Knightley's Engagement Confirmed by Amal Alamuddin's Law Firm

Okay, that's just weird. And hey! Keira Knightley got engaged! Who snared her?


let's see the searches

Searches related to keira knightley

keira knightley steve wynn

keira knightley getting married

keira knightley stacy keibler

keira knightley girlfriend

keira knightley net worth

keira knightley movies list

keira knightley dating

keira knightley tequila

 

You know, Keira Knightley's serial monogamy is strangely alluring, and look! She makes movies!

 

 

So, I want to thank Marni Bates for the cool idea and for being gracious with me wanting to explore it further. Y'all check her out on Twitter @MarniBates!  Also click the link above for Caitlin Walsh's cool article!

 

heidi

written 4/29/14

 

 

 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Nine: An Open Apology to My Friend Bone for Ignoring Our Words With Friends Game This Month

Dear Bone,

I know that
this seems like I'm pouting
for another loss

And it is
more than fair for you
to think that

But I promise
I've been doing the poem
a day thing

and that has
taken the total of my
daily word allotment

it has absolutlely
nothing to do with the
fact that I

have not drawn
one single mother fucking consonent
or that I

have lost the
last six stupid mother fucking
games we've played

it's the poem
thing, the daily poem thing
well documented here

So I hope
that you will accept my
most sincere apologies

and seriously I'm
NOT POUTING! I've grown since
the last time.

Fine, be that
way then. I really tried.
You read it.

There is no
pleasing some people. Always jumping
to wrong conclusions.

So...sorry...okay?
Just you wait mister, May
First...you're toast.

heidi
written 4/29/14 for my friend, Bone and for



I have been a very negligent WWF buddy this month. I hope Bone will forgive me. You would, right? Come on, a multiple Collum Lune apology? Of course you would.

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Eight: Agency

 young girls think
of sex as something that's
 "done to them"

heidi
written 4/28/14 for


Today's prompt was to take a poem from a news article. I did change "that is" from the article to "that's" so that it would fit the Collum Lune form, but this sentence stuck with me.  This is from Julianne Ross's PolicyMic article 17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex. Click the title to link to the article. It is very well written and makes excellent points. 

 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Seven: Picture Prompt

from NaPoWriMo

he said that
he would be right back
maybe he lied

heidi
written 4/27/14 for



Today we have a picture prompt!

 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Six: Joy

Special Olympics

Kecie Erby, 10, competes in the long jump for Woodland Forrest Elementary School during the Tuscaloosa Area Track and Field Meet for Special Olympics hosted at Central High School Friday, April 25, 2014. Kecie won first place in the event. 130 athletes on 15 teams from Tuscaloosa County and City as well as Pickens County participated in a variety of events. Michelle Lepianka Carter | The Tuscaloosa News
Tuscaloosa News

 

 

 

the Joy in 

doing your best and cheering

for your friends

heidi

written 4/26/14 for my sweet girl and her friends and for

I had never intended to share pictures of my kids or as much about me as I have, but the life happens. And how selfish would I be not to share the awesomeness of my sweetie-pies with the world. My girl is the blonde in the background cheering for her friend Kecie. She gets to compete in two years. I am so proud.

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Five: Rock Me

(to the tune of Falco's Rock Me Amadeus)

heidi helmer heidi helmer

heidi helmer

heidi helmer heidi helmer

heidi helmer

heidi helmer heidi helmer

whoa ho ho heidi helmer

heidi

written 4/25/14 for

Okay, so, yes, I used to sing this in high school, and it's not the most original, and technically not even new for me, but today's prompt is anaphora, and I just did the dVerse prompt too and it made me mad and I wanted something to make me laugh and it's my blog anyway, so I can do what I want.

Now, who wants to rock out to some Falco? \m/

Asshat

drawing by heidi helmer

"I want to tell you 
   one 
       more 
            thing 
                  I 
                  know 
about the Negro," 

Said the wizened old white supremacy hero
While dancing to sedition's  deniro
Complaining about welfare to the news joe
While never paying what he does owe
Spewing racism like a schmo
As a human being he's a straight-up zero
In the end we reap what we sow.

heidi
written 4/24/14 for dVerse

In his post, Bjorn teaches us about  Dagsvers and encourages us to write about a current event without metaphor or softening the edges, and maybe add a little picture.

Yep.

So this is what I wrote. You may have heard of this guy, or maybe you recognize him in my fine drawing.

And I am completely terrified to post this.

Like y'all didn't know my politics were a little  left of the middle anyway.

And just yesterday, someone complimented me about how non-judgemental I was. :)

but seriously, this guy is an asshat


(I'm going to go try to write a poem using anaphora for NaPoWriMo now.)

#NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Four: Affirmation for a Mom Who Prefers Easy

remember that the
little things
are the most special.

heidi
written 4/24/14 for


Happy Poem In Your Pocket Day! I am going to put this overly sentimental Kelly Lune in my pocket today.  We had one of those mornings where having a little kid in a good/silly mood is more frustrating than a little kid in a bad mood.  Silly moods are good, but not always easy. My fatal flaw is that I am a fan of easy. There could be an epic poem in that, but...it sounds too hard.


 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Three: When We Arrived in Hilo

one afternoon we
watched "Jaws 2" on cable TV
our perfect honeymoon

heidi
written 4/23/14 for


I miss Hilo.

Remember tonight is World Book Night! Have you read Agatha Christie lately? Now would be a good time!
 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Two: Joy of Spring

Body consumed
green goo clogging
breathing becomes difficult

fever rages
chest rattles
pain in throat
making consciousness
unbearable

hacking volumes
phlegm splattering
face swollen

happy spring!

heidi
written 4/22/14 for


I thought I'd write my own springtime ode today.
 

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-One: Lillith Was My Favorite character

binge watching "Cheers"
I'm gonna be Lillith when
I grow up.

heidi
written 4/21/14 for




So I'm at this weird point where I want to write everyday, I loved the prompt, but, eh, this was all I got. I think I'm losing focus. But my headache's gone, so yay!

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty: Sweetie-Pies

photo by heidi helmer

love comes easy
to curls and big eyes
holding my heart.

heidi
written 4/20/14 for



Yes. I am manipulating you with the vey cute picture of my sweetie-pies.

 

NaPoWriMo Day Nineteen: Fibonnaci for My Poem-Blocking Headache

My
head hurts
and I don't
want to write one damn
thing-much less another poem
and I am late in returning visits to others
so I write these words in a Fibonacci sequence so that it will at least look cool.

heidi
written 4/19/14 for



My sinuses revolted a couple of hours ago, my kids are revved up, and  I don't like the episode of CBS Mystery Theater playing on my internet radio right now. I am one grumpy mommy. But the Fibonacci does look cool and it was inspired by today's prompt.


 

NaPoWriMo Day Eighteen: The Girl with the Blue Hair and Her Sam

The girl with the blue hair
Rode to the picnic on a mare
She brought a nice country ham
People can stare, she doesn't care.

The mare went by the name of Sam
She was as gentle as a lamb
She was fluent in speaking French
Sam's favorite mots were je t'aime.

Sam stopped at a park bench.
The girl jumped down in a cinch.
Her lunch was ready to eat.
She and Sam discussed the movies of Dame Judy Dench.

At the end of the day, they walked home on their feet.
The evening sunset smelled cool and sweet.
Sam and her girl were best of friends.
Leaving their footprints in the peat.

heidi
written 4/18/14 for



Look at me! I'm Rubaiyat-ing! This is so cool. I don't think this poem is done, but, all I wanted at first was to try the form and not be depressing. I think that there could be some fun with Sam and her girl with blue hair, but I will need to give it more thought...


 

NaPoWriMo Day Seventeen: Cool Haiku

a cold winter's day
in the midst of a cool spring
dreading summer's heat

heidi
written 4/17/14 for



Is it cold enough for ya'? I am seriously loving the extended cold weather. The mosquitoes will never know what hit them! heh. heh. heh.(That's my evil laugh, y'all.)

Happy Haiku Day!

NaPoWriMo Day Sixteen: Ten Lies I Can't Seem to Stop Telling Myself

I have to be perfect.
I must berate myself constantly to be a good person.
No matter how hard I try, I am not good enough.
No one who really knows me could ever love me.
I need to be smarter.
I need to be funnier.
I need to be prettier.
One day he'll realize he's better off without mMe
My daughter is sick because of me.
I will never be good enough.

heidi
written 4/16/14 for


Well that was not fun.
 

NaPoWriMo Day Fifteen: Ouroboros

Fife the Liberation

Cyclical is nature
Life after cessation
Fall and summer

Strife from jubilation
Creation births Ouroboros                               
Midwife welcomes celebration

Motion in loss
Tranquility generates movement
Devoted and treacherous

Timidity is spent.

Spent is timidity

Treacherous and devoted
Movement generates tranquility
Loss in motion

Celebration welcomes midwife
Ouroboros births creation
Jubilation from strife

Summer and fall
Cessation after life
Nature is cyclical

Liberation the fife.

heidi
written 4/15/14 for
http://www.napowrimo.net/2014/04/the-halfway-mark/


Whew! Today's prompt was to write a terza rima, but it is also palindrome week in the States (the days this week are all palindromes, 4-15-14.) So, I decided to write a terza palindrima, (Yes, I just made that word up) taking all sorts of liberties. I enjoyed the deeply frustrating experience, and I suspect, if I got meter, my free verse would take a hit. I love the puzzle of a complicated poetry form.

 

NaPoWriMo Day Fourteen: What's on Eli's Mind?

photo by heidi helmer

Mommy?
Why did you wake up?
Why did you come downstairs when you woke up?
Do you like sausage biscuits?
Can I have a sweet tea?
Do you think Daddy will bring me a honeybun?
Can we go to Target to get me a toy?
Is Venom a bad guy?
Why is he a bad guy?
Can Spiderman beat up Venom?
What is that?
Do bugs like to eat cookies?
Can I leave my cookies here?
Will bugs try to eat them?
Where is my Kitty Softpaws?
Have you seen her?
Can you find her?
Will you take me to the thrift store to get a new Kitty Softpaws?
Is she a Cat Batman-Girl?
Can we go to Target and get Aoife and Daddy a treat?
  (and me a toy?)
Do you like Orange drink?
Why don't you like Orange drink?
Is Jack a bad guy?
Mommy? Mommy?
MOM?
Will you help me?
Can you play with me?
Can we make noodles for lunch?
With steak?
And chocolate pie?
Mommy?
Can you fix this?
Mom?
Who's your baby?

     You are, my sweet little fella.

heidi
written 4/14/14 for


Hello y'all. Today's prompt was to write a poem that was all questions, so really, my son wrote this one for me. :)

 

NaPoWriMo Day Thirteen: Equilibrium

At the herald-song of the day
The kindness-queen readies herself
for the surrender-combat that is her life.

Always, she tries to balance the vengeance-ballad
with the forgiveness-Fibonacci
forever teetering the sun-lune border.

Her heart beats to perfection-corruption
and her fatigue-power is eternal
Equilibrium in the Kenning-conquest.

heidi
written 4/13/14 for



Meh. This is my second attempts at Kennings, the NaPoWriMo prompt for the day. I would think these would be up my alley, but I am struggling with them.  I did like trying to work in poetry names in the second stanza...

My other Kenning is called A Man Like That. Maybe I should just try to only Kenning about my sweetheart.

NaPoWriMo Day Twelve: Angst

Few on Earth evoke the antipathy that angst does.
     itchy
      irritating
       bites

and

nearly ubiquitous presence
         
           can ruin a backyard barbecue or a hike in the woods.

an uncanny ability to sense 
     taking flight 
a fatal swat.

And in our bedrooms,
     the persistent,
        whiny hum 
buzzing 

wake the soundest of sleepers.

Angst 
     vectors for some of humanity’s most deadly illness
and 
     public     enemy      number      one.

 Angst-borne diseases cause millions of deaths worldwide every year.
 

There
are
more
than
3,000
species
 of angst

primary responsibility for the spread of human diseases.

 

Angst     exhaled carbon dioxide,
                                              body odors and
                                                                temperature,
and movement to home in on victims.

Only female angst necessary for sucking blood.

 

Angst
     feeds on an infected human and

is
     transmitted
via the angst saliva to a subsequent victim.

 

The only silver lining to that cloud of angst in your garden is that they are a reliable source of food for thousands of animals, including birds, bats, dragonflies, and frogs. In addition, humans are actually not the first choice for most angst looking for a meal. They usually prefer horses, cattle, and birds.
 

All angst need water to breed, so eradication and population-control efforts usually involve removal or treatment of standing water sources.

However, global efforts to stop the spread of angst are having little effect, and many scientists think global warming will likely increase their number and range.

heidi
written 4/12/14 for



I'm just going to paste the prompt here:

Today’s (optional) prompt is a “replacement” poem. Pick a common noun for a physical thing, for example, “desk” or “hat” or “bear,” and then pick one for something intangible, like “love” or “memories” or “aspiration.” Then Google your tangible noun, and find some sentences using it. Now, replace that tangible noun in those sentences with your intangible noun, and use those sentences to create (or inspire) a poem.

I used "mosquitoes" as my physical noun (thank you Rachel Zampieri!) and "angst as my intangible noun.  I also used Good Search instead of Google because Good Search donates a penny to my daughter's school whenever I use it as my search engine.  Finally, I edited out some of the original text from the National Geographic website to make it a Found Replacement poem.

Free Write Friday:Infinite

photo by heidi helmer

Gazing through glass
into the infinite and beyond
Where is she?

heidi
written 4/11/14 for Kellie Elmore's Free Write Friday

Kellie's prompt for today was this:

Tell me about this girl…


And I thought about this picture I took of my friend Kristin 22 years ago. We have lived that lifetime over again since then. I love you Kris! And how better to express that than a Collum Lune?

NaPoWriMo Day Eleven: Geburtstag for Tutta

Sonny called her Tutta
which

stuck
throughout all these years. We still call her Tutta
a name that means
we love you.

heidi
written 4/11/14 for



So, for yesterday's dVerse prompt, Gay asked us to invent a form. Mine is called Geburtstag. You use the numerical month day and year of your (or someone else's birthday) to determine the number of words or syllables for each line. For this poem, I used words. If there is a zero, then skip that line. I wrote for my aunt's birthday yesterday.

dVerse Meeting the Bar: Four Unrelated Geburtstag

0
8
0
2
1
9
7
0

True Happiness in the Life of a Dog

The joy of rolling around in

dead things.
Such
was the greatest happiness in life
for my dear sweet dog, Emma.



Bath Time at My House

My kids are small enough that they enjoy

splashing together
in
their evening bath, although, I wish that they didn't
like splashing me outside the tub too!



Hope Is Dark

Alone in the darkness of hope.

Breathless
Scared
I fear the denial hope allows
Sometimes the truth is too hard




August Second is the Best Day

I'm in love with my birthday, August Second.

So much
so
I created a poetry form so everyone could celebrate
Der name ist deutsch, weil...German's cool!


heidi
written 4/10/14 for dVerse Meeting the Bar

Gay asked us to create a poetry form. I created Geburtstag, which Marina Sofia tells me is German for Birthday. It's easy. You write your birthday in numeral form month, day, year (yes that way because, I'm American). Each numeral becomes the number of syllables or words that you use for that line. If it's a zero, you skip the line. It may not be the most fun form for those born January 1, 2000, but it may be more challenging. Y'all know I like the short form. (and I don't get meter)

Be sure to swing by dVerse and read the other cool, new forms.

NaPoWriMo Day Ten: Signal Limerick

My car just wouldn't go
She rode sluggish and slow
Signal Gas; I tried it
For my car's new diet
Because other gasoline's blow!

heidi
written 4/10/14 for



I'm so happy! Today's prompt was to write an advertisement-poem in the spirit of the old Burma Shave ads. And y'all may have noticed that I love Old Time Radio shows, and one of my favorites was Signal's The Whistler. They held limerick contests, and the listeners would send in their submissions for free gas and having their limerick read on the air. Thanks to Mad Kane's weekly Limerick-Off, I feel up to the challenge.  So everybody join in:

Signal, Signal, Signal gasoline!

Your car will go far

With go farther gasoline!

 

NaPoWriMo Day Nine: Story From Soundtracks

He wanted everything now.
His rule was impatience...

He hurried through life
A servant to his immediate desire.

He was unaware the instant Karma struck,
Deposing this oblivious king

"Tut! Tut!" Clucked the old women
laughing behind their knitting.

He kept dictating missives encouraging speed
and never noticed no one complying.

If anyone had taken the time to warn him
of his bad reputation...

He would not have taken the time
to listen.

As he wrapped himself within himself,
the people lead him to the ring.

"My Bell will signal the start of combat.
Prepare to defend yourself, sir!"

And still he hurried on within himself
ignoring his own peril.

Once slain, he was too distracted to die.
Yelling angrily to the sound of people's joy...

"Get back to work!"

heidi
written 4/9/14 for



Okay, so technically, I am posting this on the tenth, but I started it around 11:30, so I am counting it as a poem for the ninth. :) Today's prompt was to use the first five songs on a random playlist. Out of all of my songs on my iTunes, this is what popped up.

Instant Karma: John Hiatt
King Tut: Steve Martin
Bad Reputation: Half Cocked
Ring My Bell: Anita Ward
Joy: Harry Nilsson

Also, I felt rather prose-y tonight.

NaPoWriMo Day Eight: He Wades Through Bullshit

I.
He wades through bullshit, like the con
     Of found wallets and pyramid schemes
What he wants is to remove what's on
     Claiming that you fulfill his dreams
And once you're done, you meet the dawn
     With insight- he's not what he seems

II.
One excuse or more, one date or less,
     Spews forth from his lying face
Now that he has had what's in your dress
     He's in search of a newer lace
To use his word for new conquest
     Like the astronaut wooing space.

III.
My words seem harsh, I realize that
     and, in truth, Beauty's not so bad.
Romantics, I think, were better at
     writing of a pot and severed head
imprisoned wives' fireside chats
     and reanimating the dead.

heidi
     after George Gordon Byron
written 4/8/14 for



Today's prompt was to rewrite a classic poem. I chose She Walks in Beauty, and I am a little worried that I may be guilty of heresy. Also, I took some liberties with the form (as usual).

 

NaPoWriMo Day Seven: Life's Blood

strong dark
sticky sweet wet
obliterating all
other desires, this heaven's bliss
sweet tea

heidi
written 4/7/14 for



Oh my sweet Cinquain, had you thought that I would forsake you? Never! Only your ease and dependability could help me meet today's challenge: to write a love poem to an inanimate object. What in the whole universe is more deserving of a love poem than sweet tea?

 

NaPoWriMo Day Six: Winter's Goodbye

I have enjoyed the chill
of this year's winter

the cold, white light
the unexpected Alabama snow

I think I am alone in
wishing it here a little longer

the oaks in my yard are beginning the transformation
from brown to dark green

the azaleas confetti bright pink and white
the camellias explode in red

the branches of the Japanese magnolia
stretch out their blooms

I feel overwhelmed leaving winter's stillness
and entering spring's frenetic pollen

the light breezes stirring allergens
heralding the months of 90 to 100 degree summer

so I sit and stare at the grey skies of
winter's goodbye

contemplating the trees contentment
as the seasons come and go

envying them that.

heidi
written 4/6/14 for



Today's NaPoWriMo challenge was to look outside the window and write down what you saw and use those words as a word bank. I am sitting almost on the floor next to a high window, so what I saw was mostly sky and oak trees as we move towards warmer weather here in Alabama. I tend to wilt in hot weather, so I have really enjoyed this winter, and haven't braced myself for the HOT that is Tuscaloosa in the summer.

Anyway...here are my observations:

trees branches leaves grey sky stillness light breeze brown dark green white

Since it's Sunday, why not take a swing by NaPoWriMo and check out the links to the participants' websites? Click on the button above. (You're welcome!)

 

NaPoWriMo Day Five: Ignoring Peace

mourning the time spent
berating myself for not being THE
perfect (fill in the blank) that day.

pissed for letting my life slip away

acknowledging and ignoring the fact- staring
me in the face- that I am walking through

the same asshole steps of yesterday's
beat-me-up march...afraid of the window

that is before my eyes
leading me to a peace not yet closed.

heidi
     after Eusebeia Philos

written 4/5/14 for



I'm late tonight because today is my sweet girl's birthday and we have spent the day at the lake. Happy birthday my sweet Aoife <3 !

Today's prompt was to write a poem in the style of The Golden Shovel by Terrance Hayes. You take a poem (he used Stevie Smith's most awesome We Real Cool) and use the words of that poem as the last word of each line of your poem.  Since all of my favorite poets are the bloggers I read, I knew immediately that I wanted to use a poem by Eusebeia Philos (although I didn't ask his permission and I hope he doesn't get pissed at me because I kind of like what I came up with...). If you are neither reading his blog nor following him on Twitter, then I feel kind of sad for you because his work is masterful.  Click on his name to read his poem, Yesterday's Window, which is the poem I used, and then hang out to read some more of his work. He is very aware of the wonder in every day.






 

NaPoWriMo Day Four: Someone Needs A Nap

sweet little boy
angry over a lost toy
cries on floor

heidi
written 4/4/14 for



Yay! Today's prompt was to write a Collum Lune! It's like it was written just for me.  And I managed to not write about medicine. Double yay! It helped that my son was lying in front of me upset because he lost his Kitty Softpaws doll. If you see her, please let us know where she is. We need to put a bell on her; she gets lost a lot.
 

NaPoWriMo Day Three: Charmed

specifically chosen chemicals
must be consumed before noon
lest gremlins arise

heidi
written 4/3/14 for



I am beginning to feel a little like a one note asshole here. I did sort of work in the NaPoWriMo prompt to write a charm...sort of...and look, a Collum Lune! Last year I spent the first week writing Cinquains, hmmm. Also, Blogger is not letting me comment on my posts, so that's been frustrating.

Maybe I shouldn't write these post poem comments when I'm feeling grumpy...

 

NaPoWriMo Day Two: How I Think Now

my head emptied
of nasty negative self-talk
now echoes quiet

heidi
written 4/2/14 for





So, after 43 years, I have been diagnosed with ADHD. They said that I have been able to compensate for so long because I'm smart. Now, I have started taking medicine for it (see yesterday's very similar Collum Lune). Maybe I'm not as smart as I used to be. :)
 

NaPoWriMo Day One: Methylphenidate

the magic pill
clears my head of demons
leaves lonely silence


heidi
written 4/1/14 for


I am getting a late night start to the month of poetry. I think I have channeled all of my creativity into cooking lately. Not so great for the blog, but man, is my tummy happy. So, I am starting with a little Collum Lune. I love these things.