I have to be perfect.
I must berate myself constantly to be a good person.
No matter how hard I try, I am not good enough.
No one who really knows me could ever love me.
I need to be smarter.
I need to be funnier.
I need to be prettier.
One day he'll realize he's better off without mMe
My daughter is sick because of me.
I will never be good enough.
heidi
written 4/16/14 for
Well that was not fun.
I must berate myself constantly to be a good person.
No matter how hard I try, I am not good enough.
No one who really knows me could ever love me.
I need to be smarter.
I need to be funnier.
I need to be prettier.
One day he'll realize he's better off without mMe
My daughter is sick because of me.
I will never be good enough.
heidi
written 4/16/14 for
Well that was not fun.
I don't know how much of this is autobiographical and how much is fictional, but it saddens me. Humans are capable of making ourselves miserable. And for what?
ReplyDeleteHi Ally! It's a little too autobiographical, although the ADHD meds are really putting a stop to it. I'm sorry about making you sad :( Your posts make me so happy!
Deleteouch. yeah we create beliefs about ourselves that are hard to shake...blame, shame and perfection is probably the biggest lie of them all...
ReplyDeleteI am a sucker for a lie.
DeleteI empathize with all you have written here. And you're right; it's not very fun at all. I hope you take some solace in knowing that you are not alone in this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Barry!
DeleteAwww - I tell myself most of those same lies. x
ReplyDeleteThese are very mean lies, Mary.
Delete