Arrows burn a white-hot
electric ember and sand
becomes glass.
Silver mirrors the cold frost
of desire.
Consumed with the obsession
of possession.
Long lost lust denied
now found.
The Black Man is chilly,
but gives into my desire
and in my passion's paradise,
lies my erotic overload.
heidi
written 7/10/91 @4:17 am
submitted to mindlovemisery 4/28/13
I always feel like I am the last person to discover an interesting blog. Such is the case with mindlovemisery, where she has written and posted some very cool poems. I saw that she has a linky up today with a prompt for early poetry. I immediately thought of "Eros" which I wrote right before my 21st birthday, and which shows the beginnings of my love of alliteration. I know that it was written at 4:17 because I noted it in the notebook. I also have this written underneath the poem
"about someone killing someone they 'love' in order to 'have' them (both ways) forever."
Then there is an arrow pointing up to this blurb from underneath and at the end of that arrow, I wrote
"totally"
Ummmmm...."both ways?" What does that even mean? What the hell was I thinking? (and yes, there is a part of me that still fucking loves this poem...it was one of my favorites.)
Thanks, mindlovemisery for the laugh.
haha...um...guess i better say nice things in case you have a weapon eh? smiles...nah i would anyway...cool verse...i wonder does the black man then refer to death? death and sex def are interesting partners....
ReplyDeleteHey Brian, it's okay to laugh...no weapons. And yes, the black man is death, I was probably thinking about the grim reaper. Yep.
DeleteEros/arrows, cool wordplay. As a whole a little bit of the dark side coming out at 21? Probably just beginning to contemplate the complexities of what it means to possess something/someone. The neat thing about reading your poems is that I get to read your commentary, too. Great stuff. I don't think I'd be able to share much of what I thought when I was 21.
ReplyDeleteI was gleefully morbid in my early twenties. I had mostly resolved a terrible fear of the dark that plagued most of my childhood, and sort of embraced it. As you can see by this, I have always had an urge to discuss what I have just written. I am glad that you like it. This was also one of my more coherent, and less political or x-rated (or both) pieces. Thanks for the visit.
DeleteIt's nice to look back and say, "hey. that's not bad." actually it is very good and you have a right to feel as you do...it's damn good.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am glad that you liked it. I read through some other pieces when I dug this out. It was a hoot.
DeleteIt's better than some stuff I've come across recently, I didn't go too far back, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and thanks for stopping by.
DeleteThis is fantastic seriously wow! I love alliteration too. Thank you so much for participating and for your kind words =)
ReplyDeleteThank you, I really like your blog, and this was a good experience. I had originally intended to mix in some of my older pieces with new ones for this blog, but I have only done it occasionally.
DeleteCool. Nice use of alliteration - and expletives too. Very cool.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day.
Thank you! I like alliteration and expletives, and if I can alliterate the expletives...even better. :) Glad you stopped by, and have a nice day too!
DeleteThanks. And thanks for making me chuckle too.
DeleteI fink that it is possible to f-f-f-find a meffod to do alliterate the fingamabobs.
Have another nice day..
You crack me up!
DeleteNicely done, Heidi! But...I'm not sure if I like alliteration; mainly, because I'm not sure what it is!
ReplyDeleteThank you...the way I used it here was to group two or more words closely together that begin with the same consonant. It's a bunch of fun to write one liners using the same letter for each word...there were a lot of those around this poem in my notebook.
DeleteReally well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Madeleine!
DeleteStormcat had a good idea for the prompt explained in the comments you are most welcome to add another submission if you want to have a go at it
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'll go check it out.
DeleteHeidi,
ReplyDeleteIs this about narcissistic or erotic love? I mean the arrows sending, the sand to glass, the silvering, all the elements of a mirror with which to better fall in love with oneself. Denial of that obsession, self possession desired, fear that it will be your death or the death of more acceptable love relationships, finally the confession that paradise would satisfy those auto-erotic desires. Then perhaps I'm showing my mythological ignorance and it's all the same thing.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to revisit my earlier writing. I can see why you thought to choose this poem for your link. Rich imagery for passionate subjects--enjoyed it very much.
ReplyDeleteExcellent Heidi - you passionate thing you! :o]
ReplyDeleteI remember the good old days when lust was intermingled with love...
Anna :o]