Saturday, April 6, 2013

NaPoWriMo Day Six and dVerse Poetics Submission

Valediction at the Target

For some reason
I am compelled to
answer the phone.
(No, that's a lie
I had to confirm something...
it was important at the time.)

I was that person that annoys me.
The one talking on the phone
in the middle of the aisle
in Target.
And I conveyed the info.
And now I am stuck.
I can't get off the phone.

Then the hollering...
the unhappy little kid
the one that must have a toy
RIGHT NOW!
He is so close
the shrill unhappiness reverberates my phone.

What?
MOMMY!
I'm sorry what?
I NEED A GREEN GOBLEM! RIGHT NOW MOMMY!
I can't hear you.
NO MOMMY NOW!
I know, it's like he's right next to me.
TIME OUT MOMMY!
I know...did you get everything you needed
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!
before he...
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
okay.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhh  hhh hhh hhh hhh
Yeah I know we never seem to connect...
(angry little kid sobbing)
Yeah, talk to you soon.
(even more angry little kid sobbing)
Bye now!

I can't tell you the relief
of becoming untethered.
I hate talking on the
phone.
Even more talking in
crowded places.

Who's my sad
very good boy who is
going to get the
BIGGEST GREEN GOBLEM EVER
for calming down
and
getting Mommy off the phone?

Yeah I don't mind so much
being
that
Person.

heidi

written 4/6/13 for both  and dVerse Poetics  


Hey! Look at me not writing a cinquain, AND combining two prompts. I think I fudged the intention of the NaPoWriMo prompt (write a valediction) and Kelvin's dVerse prompt (write a poem that is an anecdote). However, prompts are to help get you writing, and this one amused me. (That probably means that I am the only one that will like it but that's okay.)

And I think that I need to see if dVerse still has buttons. Happy Saturday Y'all (and I think maybe Happy Sunday for some of Y'all too!)

22 comments:

  1. hahaha he got you off the phone...and that was worth it...hope he gets his reward now...good boy...smiles.

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    1. He's such a good boy. Now if I could just get him to repeat it into Audioboo.

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  2. I'm familiar with that trick. But, it's not as good as the old standard: Hello? You're breaking up... what... are you there... can you hear me now... sorry... call you back later

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    1. Hi Charles! My smartphone is awesome at most things except being a phone, so I "what" people a lot anyway. Yelling toddler just expedites things.

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  3. That is pretty funny ~ Enjoyed the conversational piece ~

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    1. Hi Grace! Thanks for stopping by! I am glad you liked it. I think it needs a little work...maybe more conversation?

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  4. reminds me of one of my favoite short opera pieces

    The Telephone

    my piece (it's always easier when people put the link and you don't have to look) --
    Reactivated

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    1. Hey zongrik! Thank you for the awesome compliment (and the link). I think I have seen this before, in the late 70's. Miss Louisiana performed it for the talent portion for Miss America. I liked Reactivated.

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  5. It is so hard to try to carry on a conversation in the middle of a place like Target! This made me smile.

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    1. Hi Mary! I am glad that you liked it. I think there are definitely downsides to cell phones.

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  6. ...and me too... hate talking on the phone when in crowded places... it just didn't work... usually shot off the phone or didn't bother to answer at all but then... sometimes you need to take it in for you can never what's behind the ringing... i loved this Heidi... very entertaining & oh so relatable to read... fantastic... thanks... smiles...

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    1. Hi Kelvin! I really really liked this prompt! I was told once that my poetry lacked insight and didn't elevate language, when all I was trying to do was tell a story and accommodate my 30 second attention span. You gave me the perfect venue! Thanks!

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  7. wonderful surprise at the end there. you had me smiling!

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    1. Hi Charity! Welcome to the lasagna! I am glad that you liked it. I was going for the surprise and I'm happy that it worked.

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  8. I'm generally not much of a phone person, any other sort of communication, but disembodied voices just don't work for me.

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  9. ha...love the twist in the close...i don't like being on the phone in busy places as well.. bet he was happy that he got his green goblem...smiles

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    1. Hi Claudia! I am happy that you liked it. He cracks me up with that "goblem".

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  10. Loved that little twist at the end. My little one, on a visit to Ikea, lay on the floor and refused to walk any further. The bribe of her favourtie meatballs did the trick, but I just wished a hole would open up and smallow me.

    Her parents were none too happy to learn of the event, but hooray for meatballs ;-)

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    1. Hi Tino! That's awesome. Hooray for meatballs!!!!!! Right now, they kind of groan whenever I go to Target (which is weekly for groceries) because he yells and cries about half the time we are in there. Three is such a fun age!

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  11. Ha-ha, did you train him specially? I swear mine used to smell when it was a phone call I didn't enjoy making and would come to pester me just then. Very cleverly done, a very auditive poem!

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    1. Hi Marina Sofia! Thank you for coming by! I think the phone has some sort of alarm that is set only for their hearing and goes off the second I try to talk.

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